CHAPTER XX.
FUNERAL CUSTOMS, GRAVEYARDS, &c.
A well known writer has said that nothing is more characteristic of the early state of New England than the old grave-yards which solemnize her ancient towns, Their monuments, epitaphs and decorations show at once the prevalence of religion, the backwardness of taste, and the poverty of the times. The number of buried octogenarians attests the steady habits and salubrious clime, while the superior funeral state of the ministers and deacons, bears witness to the social importance of those dignitaries of the church. The ancient burial grounds chain with a spell of which the modern cemetery with its showy marbles knows nothing! We turn from the fresh mortality which chills its with its recent sorrows, to those mossy headstones whose faint inscriptions tell of generations long since freed from toil. Here one may find the rude monuments of those who still walk the earth and lead its progress, and here the heart may run over, as Byron says,
"With silent worship, of the great of old!
The dead but sceptered sovereigns, who still rule
Our spirits from their urns."
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They still live, though their bodies have been mingled with the earth. In those seasons when "calling shapes" walk the earth, and "aery tongues syllable men's names," we can, by the united aid of imagination and memory, see them singly, or in gathered groups, like a cloud of witnesses looking down upon us; we can hear them titter words of encouragement, or warning, to be heeded by the living.
One of the earliest records in relation to grave-diggers was in 1677, when we find that "Will. Ebernatha's price for digging graves is five shillings for grown persons and two shillings and sixpence for children." It was the custom when a person died during the night, to toll the church bell at sunrise; if the death occurred in the daytime, the bell was tolled at sunset. Three distinct strokes were given for a male adult, two for a female, and one for a child. On the brow of a large, sloping hill, in the southeastern part of the town, peacefully rest the remains of some of the first settlers of Meriden. Here the frail memorials,
"With uncouth rhymes and shapeless sculpture decked,
Implore the passing tribute of a sigh."
Several years ago, the town properly determined to perpetuate the memory of the original inhabitants in an appropriate monument, to be erected in the early burial ground. This monument, which is surrounded by a high iron fence sixty feet square, is of freestone, and contains the following inscriptions:
On the south side,
Erected
By the town of Meriden, 1857.
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On the east side,
In Memory of the First Settlers of the Town of meriden who were buried within and near this enclosure, and whose names so far as known, are inscribed on this Monument.
The Meeting-House in which they worshiped, and the first erected in the town, stood about 50 rods west of this memorial.
On the north side,
Obituary. Rev. Theophilus Hall, Pastor of the First Church, March 25, 1769, ae. 62; Mehitable Hall, Sept. 11, 1767, ae. 16; Timothy Jerome, Feb. 23, 1757, ae. 26; Abigail Way, Sept. 12, 1741, ae. 12; Daniel Hough, July 25, 1768, ae. 49; Thos Beech, May 14, 1741, ae. 83; Phebe Merriam, Feb. 23, 1753, ae. 23; Hannah Ives, Nov. 5, 1770, ae. 70; Capt. Josiah Robinson, Apr. 2, 1766, ae. 67; Theophilus Mix, July 3, 1750, 33. 53; Rachael Andrus, Jan. 11, 1756, ae. 33; Timothy Andrews, Nov. 25, 1743, ae. 23; Hannah Royce, Jan. 12, 1761, ae. 91; Samuel Johnson, Mar. 2, 1777, ae. 23.
On the west side,
Obituary. Benjamin Curtiss, Oct. 29, 1754, ae. 52; Aaron Curtiss, Dec. 18, 1763, ae. 20; Rebekah Lyman, Nov. 8, 1748, ae. 44; Joseph Cowles, Nov. 30, 1760, ae. 83; Mindwell Cowles, April 17, 1770, ae. 89; Sarah Bishop, May 31, 1760, ae. 43; Elizabeth Merriam, June 11, 1767, ae. 70; Elizabeth Penfield, Nov. 20, 1765, ae. 18; Deacon Samuel Royce, May 14, 1757, ae. 85; Ezekiel Rice, Esq., Sept, 4, 1765, ae. 66; Ebenezer Roys, Jan. 20, 1759, ae. 53; Joseph Merriam, Aug. 24, 1752, ae. 49; Deborah Merriam, August 12, 1761, ae. 52; Ruth Merriam, Nov. 12, 1755, ae. 72; Mindwell Rice, June 15, 1769, ae. 27.
Most of the grave stones have either been displaced or broken, and many are entirely unintelligible. We copy a few inscriptions:
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Theophilus hall,
Pastor of ye Church, who having for 37 years difcharged the duties of his function with diftinguifhed fidelity and accomplifhed Chriftian life, the uniform difciple of Jefus Chrift deceafed March 23, 1769, in the 60th year of his Age.
They that be wife shall shine as ye brightnefs of ye firmament.
In Memory of Mrs. Mehitable Hall Daughtr of the Revd Mr Theophilus & Mdm Hannah Hall died Septr 11th 1707 aged 16 years.
Happy ye dying youth whofe early fteps have trod ye Chriftian road of pious virtue up to god.
In Memory of Mr Chriftopher Robinfon died Decbr 6th 1760 in ye 26th year of his Age. as you are now fo once was I, Prepare for death for you muft die.
Here lies ye Body of Oliver Son of Mr Ebenezer & Abigail Roys he died Decbr ye 6th 1753 in ye 7th year of his Age.
These forewarnings Remember Well Death and Judgment heaven & hell.
In memory of Mr Samuel Johnfon Junr who Departed this life March 2nd A D 1777, in ye 23rd year of his Age. Come Blooming youth when this you Read, O, See my Fate.
Dean Ezekiel Rice Esq., Aged 66 years Departed this Life Sptr 4th 1765.
To God and Man a faithful Friend;
In Serving both his life did spend.
His Sun is set his work is done,
Lies here beneath this Gloomy Stone.
In Memory of Sarah wife of Mr. Yale Bishop, died May 31st 1766 in ye 43rd year of her Age & was buried with her infant on her arm.
"I, John Hubbard of Wallingford, in the County of New Haven, for the consideration of the sum of nine pounds lawful money received to my full satisfaction, of the inhabitants of the parish of Meriden, do give, grant, bargain, sell and confirm, one certain piece of land situate and being in the parish of Meriden, containing three quarters of an acre of land, off from the northeast corner of said Hubbard's land, northward of said Hubbard's house, beginning at the highway, a heap of stones the corner, from thence running twelve and a half rods westwardly to a heap of stones, from thence running nine rods southwardly to a heap of stones, from thence running eleven rods eastwardly to the highway to a heap of stones, from thence running eleven and a half rods by highway to the first lands, and is bounded north upon Mary Hall's lands, and west and south upon said Hubbard's land, and east upon the highway. To have and to hold the above granted and bargained premises, with the appurtenances thereof, unto the inhabitants of the parish of Meriden, forever, for their proper use and behoof, as a burying place. [Here is inserted the usual form of guarantee.] Given under my hand and seal the 15th day of March, in the 11th year of the reign of our Sovereign Lord, George III, of Great Britain, &c. king, annoque Domini, 1771.
"john hubbard."
To pay for the land, the following paper was drawn up and subscribed:
"Whereas the inhabitants of the parish of Meriden, did in
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their meeting on the 18 of February last, agree to purchase a piece of land of the Rev. Mr. Hubbard, for a burying yard, we, the subscribers being desirous of a speedy accomplishment of said affair, do herewith our names subscribe the several sums that we will give towards purchasing said piece of land, and do promise to pay them to the parish committee within nine months after said committee shall procure a deed to secure the same to the use of the parish as aforesaid.
"Meriden March 11, 1771.
s. d. s. d. "samuel leavitt, 3 hannah hall, 2 noah yale, 5 abel hawley, 2 ebenezer cowles, 36 sam'l johnson, 3 ezekiel rice, 15 solomon rice, 1 daniel howell, 36 joseph cowles, 3 eben'r cowles, Jr., 1 wait rice, 1 samuel whitney, 16 bezaleel ives, 3 john miles, Jr., 1 timothy colls, 16 theo. hall, 2 thomas hough, 1 josiah merriman, 1 ezra rice, 2 titus rice, 14 aaron hull, 1 thomas menhaur, 16 moses hall, 13 thomas berry, 2 benjamin rice, 2 timothy foster, 34 aaron lyman, 4 abigail rice, 21 amasa rice, 1."
In 1842 the question was agitated in Meriden in regard to laying out a burial ground a few rods east of the town, and in 1845 land was purchased from the estate of Wm. Yale deceased, and Lyman Collins. The stone arch over the entrance was built in 1847.
The customs at funerals in different parts of New England were for many years somewhat peculiar, and were long since modified or abandoned. The distribution of gloves, rings and scarfs at funerals prevailed to such an extent, that in 1721, the Legislatures of Massachusetts
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passed a law against the usage. Town authorities complied with the fashion so far, that they distributed these articles at the burial of their paupers, and the expense was charged over to the town. At the funeral of the wife of Governor Belcher of Massachusetts in 1736, more than one thousand pairs of gloves were distributed among the attendants.1
A death in a small community was a great event. The magistrate, the minister and the fathers of the town came to the bed of the dying to witness his testament and gather up his last words. It was soon known to every individual of the plantation that one of their number had been cut down. All were eager to gaze once more upon the face they had known so well; they flocked to the funeral; the near neighbors and coevals of the dead bore him on their shoulders to the grave; the whole community with solemn step and downcast eyes followed him to his long home. Riding at funerals was not then in vogue ; and a hearse was unknown. A horse litter may in some cases have been used; but the usual mode of carrying the dead was on a shoulder bier. In this way persons were sometimes brought into town for interment even from a distance of five or six miles. Frequent rests or halts were made, and the bearers often changed. These funeral customs continued down to the period of the Revolution.2
There was no spot more sacred than the one behind the meeting-house, marked with a few rude monumental stones. In the eloquent language of Dr. Holland: "There swelled the first mound over a white man's breast, and there, one by one, as the years rolled away,
1 Hollister's Hist. of Conn., I. 439.
2 Miss Caulkins' Hist. of New London, p. 267.
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rose other mounds. The rank grass waved over them, the night-straying cow stumbled among them, and unseemly shrubs sprouted between them, and at long intervals, were cut away. There, one after another, those whose life has informed these pages were gathered, and there the brown sandstone, roughly finished, and quaintly carved and clumsily inscribed, was placed above their heads. There they lay when the wintry blast was driving, and when the summer sun was shining ; when the trees were shedding the purple of autumn and assuming the green of Spring. Some fell by the red man's arm, and were borne thither in fear, and buried in the presence of faithful muskets and threats of vengence. Some were borne there in old age, an old age that died in fear after a life of fear. Among these slept the maiden with the bloom upon her cheek and life's discipline all untried, and the sweet infant of days, and the mother parted prematurely from the children of her love, and the man just risen to manhood. Year after year the frost came down and heaved the ground, now this way, now that, till the mounds settled down to the level around them, and the stones sank down into the mould, or leaned in indiscriminate and inharmonious angles, or fell prone along the graves, face to face with the skeletons whose names they bore."1
The earliest stones in the burial ground at Walling-ford dating from about 1700 to 1750, were mostly of slate and are pretty well preserved, though the inscriptions being shallow and somewhat lichen-covered, are difficult to decipher. Then followed a period of about fifty years in which the monuments were of sandstone;
1 Bay Path, p. 415.
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and of these, most of the earliest are so far corroded by lichens and the elements, that the epitaphs are quite obliterated. After the beginning of the present century, marble prevails; and the old fashioned letterings and grotesque carvings of faces and figures, give place to a more modern style.
We give herewith copies of some of the inscriptions:
Here lies interred the remains of Mrs Sarah Hall relict of Mr Joseph Hall who departed this life July 8th 1796, in the 30 year of her age.
The blast which nipt my youth will conquer thee; It strikes the bud, the blossom and the tree.
Another inscription is followed by the quaint lines:
Lovely companion come to see
The clods that cover me
Look at my right hand and view
The clods that are reserved for to cover thee.
[Doctor Isaac Lewis, 1784.]
As I am now gone down to dust
Five of my children came here first
The rest may se as they pass by
That we are now before them gone.
The following has been copied from the original stone on to a new monument:
The Reverent Mr: Street Departed: This Life: Ien: ye 16 1717 Agged: 82
The following are specimens of the didactic pendants following the name and date of some of the departed:
He sleeps no longer on the brink of fate,
nor leaves one loitering wish beneath the Starts.
Man at his Best State is Vanity.
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Though death the king of terrors be
And nature dread the awful day
Yet Christ the King of Saints we see
Hath took the sting away.
Heaven gives friends Why should we complain If Heaven resume Our friends again. Farewell Vain World, Dust Hast thou Been to me, Dust and the Shadow, I do leave with thee.
Life uncertain; Death is sure;
Sin the wound & Christ the cure.
The grave is honored where the Christian lies Tis but the ark that wafts him to the Skies. From Death we see no age is free.
At an adjourned meeting held July 4th, 1741-2, the following resolutions were presented:
"Whereas the first society in Wallingford having by their vote in their meeting, Dec. 1740, agreed to fence their burying-ground with a good five rail fence, and chose a committee for that purpose, and at their meeting in December 1741, upon reconsideration, voted that the committee chosen for that purpose should deposit therein until the society order otherwise, by reason of some ill conveniency in stopping up a highway as it must if they take in all the graves, in said burying-ground, for which reason the question was put to the town, whether the proprietors of the common field should have liberty to fence the plains, and adjoin it to the rear of the home lots from Capt. Theophilus Yale's dwelling house, down to Daniel Doolittle Jr's. dwelling house, and make a good gate at each end, and make a good gate and a good fence at each lane which will accomodate that affair in fencing said burying-yard without fencing on purpose according to former note."